Disciplining the Out of Control Body

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It’s been a while since I posted here. I have been working on a few publications, many of which will be published this year, and some presentations— including one in April called “Disciplining the Out of Control Body” for the Society for Psychoanalysis and Psychoanalytic Psychology’s 2024 Spring Meeting in Washington, D.C. My co-presenters were fantastic and I learned so much. Here is an excerpt from my presentation, which was an adaptation of a publication from 2021 called “Purposive encounters with “lack” in strength sports and diet culture” which can be found here.

Excerpt of presentation given April 4, 2024

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Becoming an anti-racist psychoanalytic community

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I’ve been writing and speaking about anti-racism and whiteness for some time now, and it seems like more folks are listening and fired up about doing the work. I’m grateful for that.

I have been asked to write something for my Institute’s newsletter, and this is my first draft. I am placing it here because writing in public helps me think. I may have to remove it if it is published by my Institute, but for now, here is my first draft. It is essentially a statement and a call to action to psychoanalytic practitioners and communities to invest in anti-racist work, particularly non-BIPOC members of these communities.

(this is an updated version, edited on 6/8/2020, with footnotes added)

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Resources for dismantling white supremacy

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Here is a quick note to share a resource list I am compiling that has action items and resources in support of the Movement for Black Lives, defunding the police, dismantling white supremacy, and general education.

This is a long haul and many are tired, exhausted, and depleted from working for centuries for justice. Many are just starting to become aware of injustice and how deep that river flows. And many are somewhere in between.

Start where you are.

Folks: take care of yourselves. Learn how to receive care. Learn how to offer it. Find replenishment where and with whom you can. If you wish to act, do deep work alongside action. It’s never too late to start.

https://linktr.ee/interrogatingwhiteness

Whiteness and the problem of Mutual Recognition

/ Molly Merson, MFT/

This is an excerpt from a paper I am working on. I am interested in sharing some views regarding mutual recognition and the constraints of using this framework when challenging or repairing systemic injustice. For more information about mutual recognition, read Jessica Benjamin’s 2004 paper, “Beyond Doer and Done To: An Intersubjective View of Thirdness”. You can also read a talk of hers here.

I am interested in sharing some views regarding mutual recognition and the constraints of using this framework when confronting or repairing systemic injustice. Mutual recognition, conceptualized by Jessica Benjamin (2004), is “a relation in which each person experiences the other as a “like subject,” another mind who can be “felt with,” yet has a distinct, separate center of feeling and perception.” When the asymmetry is mutual or relatively equivalent, as it is in an at-will therapy session (the patient pays me and is thus my employer; I have some psychic ad emotional influence on the patient; the patient has legal recourse on my behaviors; the patient may feel overly dependent on me; etc), mutual recognition may function as a powerful reparative process. In a setting in which both analyst and analysand can be understood to have agreed on and mutually buy-into a process and a machination or setting for that process, a playfulness in co-creating a “third” (Ogden, 1994a) emerges and offers a field in which to support an ongoing narrative that benefits the patient.

However, in an entrenched systemic asymmetry, where people have been relegated to their position in an ever-moving hierarchy, all our efforts of mutuality become subsumed by the power structure. Those disenfranchised individuals and communities end up trying to navigate forces of power which refuse to relinquish their stronghold. In addition, those wielding power may at times not even recognize the deadliness of the asymmetry, or may justify it because it is “legal” (slavery, “stand your ground” laws) or “moral” (family values).

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Staying Well While Sheltering in Place for COVID-19

/ Molly Merson, MFT/
Staying Well While Sheltering in Place for COVID-19

We’ve been under “Shelter in Place” orders in the Bay Area for three weeks now. Time has felt alternatively condensed, expansive, and difficult to track for many of us who have had to change up our reliable, structured day-to-day habits that keep us well, healthy, and in contact with ourselves.

Right now, we are facing a “bizarre object,” a new virus that can be deadly for some, and painful and arduous for others. We are responding in the best way we can, by physically distancing ourselves from each other to prevent the transmission of the virus. What I’m finding is that when it comes to our mental health and how we’re coping with this, there is nothing new under the sun. The way each of us are facing this virus is a lot like how each of us face other disruptions, fears, chaos, and bizarreness in our lives. For folks who prefer to stay at home, it can feel good that everyone else is on board with this way of life, though it may also feel stifling and overwhelming to consider the reasons for this social change. For some folks, it can feel a lot like we’re avoiding each other for reasons other than public health, especially for folks who have a history of being fearful of others in general, or are used to feeling anxious about people rejecting or dismissing us. It can really mix people up to be forced to limit our social contact and ease of moving about in the world; with gyms, pools, and trails being closed, lots of outlets for stress and aggression are off-limits. And, for folks who need companionship, this kind of social limitation can sting. It may feel pretty easy to take it personally. (Please don’t.)

It is essential to not neglect your mental health. We need each other right now in so many ways. As Mr Rogers has said, look for the helpers in a crisis.

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Resources for adjusting to life in a time of COVID-19

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For many of us, all the rapidly changing information related to this novel coronavirus is testing our flexibility. Many of us are feeling tossed about, and having to change our plans and adjust to different closures, financial situations, and other changes. We are coming to terms with all of this in our own ways, and I suspect each of us could use some help right now. 

Though we are being asked to “socially distance” ourselves, I think now is the time to get more connected emotionally even if we’re having to be apart physically. If you’ve been putting off that phone call, text, or email, now might be a good time to reach out and catch up with people you love.

Though what I’m writing today may be woefully outdated by tomorrow, here are some resources for mutual aid, activity, mental wellness, education, and support. I will try to keep updating this list when possible. My hope is that this support list extends well beyond the crisis of this virus and, in addition to helping us survive, becomes a way to enrich our lives going forward. 

My colleague Phoenix Song has created a beautiful list of resources, much more in-depth than what I offer here, which I hope you will find helpful: https://phoenixsongtherapy.com/2020/03/14/we-heal-together-covid-19-resources-for-wellness/. I am adding some more resources below.

Remember: We need each other, especially now.

MUTUAL AID:
It’s Going Down has a list of resources: https://itsgoingdown.org/autonomous-groups-are-mobilizing-mutual-aid-initiatives-to-combat-the-coronavirus/

Berkeley Mutual Aid: BIT.LY/BERKELEYMUTUALAID

SF Bay Mutual Aid Response form (folks who need help) https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1SSS3NDHzAjX9TnCEj32LKS-alJ0uZs-HvUarLe9Rzx8/edit#gid=890907626

ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS:
Cal Academy of Sciences hosts online classes: https://www.calacademy.org/a-message-to-our-academy-community-on-covid-19

Storyline: https://www.storylineonline.net/

RELAX:

Headspace App: https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app

GETTING BORED?
MasterClass https://www.masterclass.com/

Writing the Other https://writingtheother.com/

Facing Insecurity, Embracing Empathy

/ Molly Merson, MFT/
Facing Insecurity, Embracing Empathy

I believe one of the most helpful things we can do for ourselves and each other is get to know ourselves on a deep level, with compassion and curiosity. It’s not always easy, and often a messy and painful experience to face the parts of ourselves that we have hidden- and hidden from- out of a feeling of necessity and fear. Often, this process requires another mind- or community of minds- to help us.

I’m struck by the words of a former Marine (on Veteran’s Day, no less) named Janae Marie Kroc. She is a white transgender woman, former Marine, and powerlifting world champion who has been public with her transition process, via Instagram and the documentary film Transformer. I was first introduced to her via the strengthlifting community while doing the Kroc row, a lift named after her, and have since followed her on Instagram and listened to her on many different podcast interviews. Currently, she is an advocate for genderfluid, nonbinary, and transgender folks, and still competing in strength sports. Today, she shared some thoughts via Instagram which got me thinking about identity, self, and how we hide from who we are out of fear, oppression, shame, and insecurity.

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Complaining Might Help You Take Yourself Seriously

/ Molly Merson, MFT/
Complaining Might Help You Take Yourself Seriously

Most of us imbued in American capitalism live in a culture where action is prioritized over thought, and where rumination is often confused for thinking something through. The belief that thought in itself is not a type of action and engagement is an unfortunate split in our culture, which can take its toll on our creative processes.

Complaint in itself can be a radical act. Complaining can call attention to something that is being ignored or overlooked and therefore not being thought about. I consider complaining a kind of pre-thought: Something that happens when a person is no longer in the complete symbiosis state (symbiosis would be like the partner who finishes your sentences), or when symbiosis is interrupted but can’t be thought about or understood yet (like when that same partner disagrees with you and interrupts that sameness-flow with a difference of opinion). Complaining serves as a way to express a problem and request help thinking about this problem with another mind.

Complaining is not necessarily about solutions; it’s often about taking yourself seriously and learning how to listen to yourself. It’s also a process of requesting others listen to, and oftentimes validate, you.

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Our Wild Storm: Seeking Balance is an Ongoing Project

/ Molly Merson, MFT/
Our Wild Storm: Seeking Balance is an Ongoing Project

I’m currently watching the docuseries “One Strange Rock,” narrated by Will Smith, on Netflix. Since I was young, I’ve been fascinated with the human project of space exploration. I even have memorabilia from several shuttle launches, which I was fortunate enough to watch in person. I was interested in both the science of space exploration as I was fascinated by the unknown and uncharted, and the kinds of hypotheses that could emerge from confronting the unknown. My creative spark often gets ignited when I’m faced with endless possibilities, like the expanse of space, the depths of the ocean, or the ever-shifting processes of the human psyche.

After all, as Carl Sagan has said, “We are a way for the universe to know itself.”

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Made by Concrete: How Atlas Stones and Psychoanalysis Shape the Strength Athlete

/ Molly Merson, MFT/
Made by Concrete: How Atlas Stones and Psychoanalysis Shape the Strength Athlete

In my recent blog post, I wrote about the Olympic lift called the snatch as a metaphor for psychoanalysis; psychoanalysis itself being just one of myriad avenues for developing a sense of self and identity. Today, I'm thinking a lot about how the entire process of strength training and competing, specifically in Strongman sport, and the ways we interact with the implements themselves, help shape our identities.

In case you aren't familiar with Strongman events, there are several, some of which have literally Titanic names. These include:
Atlas stone
Hercules hold
Deadlift
Frame carry
Keg toss

These lifts require aggression and direct access to some brute force that women tend to be socialized away from. Strongman events bring out power in people and this can be liberating for people socialized as women.

Though there are so many things I could talk about regarding these different implements and events, there are several things on my mind about the Atlas stone and how it shapes us as we lift it.

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